Relationship and Family Issues
When people are close to death, they don’t look back on their lives thinking, “I wish I worked harder, made more money, and spent more time at the gym.” What they often say is that they regret not spending enough time with the people they love, or they wish that they had let go of resentment toward a family member, or feel guilty about being too wrapped up in themselves.
Relationships are what give many of us meaning, fulfillment, and joy in life. And healthy, loving relationships can provide a space where we can grow, learn, heal past wounds, and even evolve spiritually (if you believe in that sort of thing).
Relationships are hard work. This includes relationships of all types: romantic, family, friendship, and even coworkers. They require patience, understanding, commitment, and courage. They require us to both give and receive, to trust, and to be authentic. Healthy relationships are balanced: both people are equally invested in nurturing and building a connection.
Healthy relationships also require us to work through conflict, as no relationship is perfect. Relationships require emotional communication, trust, affection, time spent together, and shared values. A healthy relationship promotes growth among the people involved in it.
You may have difficulty in relationships if:
Your relationships are filled with drama
You keep repeating the same patterns in your relationships with the same types of people
You keep friends, family and partners at a distance
You are attracted to unavailable people
You feel the need to control others
You have difficulty trusting people even though you desperately want to
If you grew up in a family where there was constant fighting, abandonment, addiction, invalidation of your emotions, abuse, or neglect the chances are you never had a positive model for what a healthy relationship looks like. Even if you came from a loving family, you may difficulty trusting other people because you have been hurt badly in the past - a partner who lied, cheated, manipulated, or just straight up ghosted you.
Some folks have experienced significant relational and developmental trauma and have developed patterns of anxious, avoidant, or disorganized attachment styles, making it impossible to feel safe and secure in a relationship.
Moreover, many people struggle with ongoing relationships with family members or spouses who have difficult temperaments or personality styles - the types of people who feel impossible to communicate with. Resentments can fester in these relationships and it can be very challenging to set boundaries with these folks.
I can help you develop a healthier relationship with yourself, which will allow you to have healthier relationships with others. Together, we will identify which relationships in your life are not working, and will figure out how to build more fulfilling relationships and set boundaries with difficult people. I will help guide you in the process of managing your anger, developing confidence to assert your needs, and gaining tools to communicate effectively and lovingly.